I like a good pun, but I love a bad one. Here is the winner of the “Vile Puns” portion of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest:

Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth’s “Intimations of Immortality,” Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.

Becky Mushko
Penhook, VA

The rest of the winning entries are here.–David E